There's a story floating around our family about me. I was about three years old and decided to collect a bunch of snails. I grew up in Southern California. We always had snails roaming the sidewalks. Apparently I lined the snails in a straight row hoping to lead them in a march. The snails were perfectly arranged in a neat little line. If one snail got out of place, I would have to return him to his proper space. The legend of the snails was a precursor to my life having an obsessive compulsive undertone of order. I like things tidy and straight all in it's pretty little space. When we were first married, Scott loved to torment me by moving the throw pillows around on our bed. He thought it hilarious watching me move the pillows back to their proper resting place. I believe when I get to Heaven, my mansion is going to be extremely orderly and tidy with labels facing forward and pillows resting comfortably with the perfect amount of fluff.
The past two to three weeks have been nothing shy of chaotic. The entire summer, really, has been out of whack. We have no set schedule, which I LOVE, but brings with it a bit of exhaustion from all the running around. I am still waiting for the lazy days of summer. Every time I drive up to my house, I get a tick because the yard is completely tore up from front to back. While the construction mess leads to the incredible blessing of a backyard oasis, the mess brings chaos to my life and all-encompassing mud issues. I feel like I live on the street described at the beginning of a Dateline special: you know when they describe the neighborhood where the crime took place in a sanctuary of well-manicured lawns and pristine houses but my house is the sore thumb that sticks out and not because we won yard of the month. If a crazy summer schedule and living in a construction zone weren't enough, my rock, my husband, suffered a severe back injury. Because of this, I became the everything for the homestead.
As I maneuvered my way through a season of chaos with constant cries for "mommy" and a soundtrack of jackhammers and Bobcats, I realized that I do not thrive well in chaos. I wiggle and fret and fight the craziness that seems to be attacking me and my determined search for constant stability. I was finally able to be still the other morning getting some much needed quality time with God when I was finally awakened to the realization that I cannot continue on this road of camp director and homemaker extraordinaire if I do not take time to spend with my Father.
We have all heard the verse, "Be still and know that I am God" found in Psalms 46:10. Do I really truly live this though? I know it. I've read the verse a million times. My body and soul long for stillness. Yet, I continue to run around treading in the chaos of life barely keeping my head above water. I was too busy for God in a season I desperately needed Him. I was depleted and cranky and full of exhaustion instead of being filled with His rest. I was running an empty in a swirling world of activities and overwhelming responsibilities. I sat on my little couch finally able to breath.
I finally let go and let myself rest in my quaint little sitting room breathing life back in still and quiet. I had forgotten how wonderful quiet restful moments were. I read my usual devotional book and a chapter from Ephesians assigned to us by our pastor. I then decided to pick up Revelations. Pretty hardcore stuff when one is trying to be restful but, I was intrigued with all the world's disasters and hadn't read that book in a long time. There were a few themes that kept popping up as I read: do not be afraid, don't forget my first love, and don't just listen but HEAR the Word. I had forgotten my first love. I had listened but hadn't really heard His voice. And because of all this, I was afraid living in a life out of whack fully engulfed in chaos.
It's amazing what life teaches you sometimes; all the time really. If only we are still often enough to succumb to the lessons our lives would be filled with less disaster and more peace. I learned my lesson loud and clear this summer. I may have needed a slap upside the head to get there, but I will not forget. Life is messy. Life is crazy. Being busy is the way to live these days. It's time to heed our bodies cry for slowness and accept that it's ok when a snail gets out of line.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
The past two to three weeks have been nothing shy of chaotic. The entire summer, really, has been out of whack. We have no set schedule, which I LOVE, but brings with it a bit of exhaustion from all the running around. I am still waiting for the lazy days of summer. Every time I drive up to my house, I get a tick because the yard is completely tore up from front to back. While the construction mess leads to the incredible blessing of a backyard oasis, the mess brings chaos to my life and all-encompassing mud issues. I feel like I live on the street described at the beginning of a Dateline special: you know when they describe the neighborhood where the crime took place in a sanctuary of well-manicured lawns and pristine houses but my house is the sore thumb that sticks out and not because we won yard of the month. If a crazy summer schedule and living in a construction zone weren't enough, my rock, my husband, suffered a severe back injury. Because of this, I became the everything for the homestead.
As I maneuvered my way through a season of chaos with constant cries for "mommy" and a soundtrack of jackhammers and Bobcats, I realized that I do not thrive well in chaos. I wiggle and fret and fight the craziness that seems to be attacking me and my determined search for constant stability. I was finally able to be still the other morning getting some much needed quality time with God when I was finally awakened to the realization that I cannot continue on this road of camp director and homemaker extraordinaire if I do not take time to spend with my Father.
We have all heard the verse, "Be still and know that I am God" found in Psalms 46:10. Do I really truly live this though? I know it. I've read the verse a million times. My body and soul long for stillness. Yet, I continue to run around treading in the chaos of life barely keeping my head above water. I was too busy for God in a season I desperately needed Him. I was depleted and cranky and full of exhaustion instead of being filled with His rest. I was running an empty in a swirling world of activities and overwhelming responsibilities. I sat on my little couch finally able to breath.
I finally let go and let myself rest in my quaint little sitting room breathing life back in still and quiet. I had forgotten how wonderful quiet restful moments were. I read my usual devotional book and a chapter from Ephesians assigned to us by our pastor. I then decided to pick up Revelations. Pretty hardcore stuff when one is trying to be restful but, I was intrigued with all the world's disasters and hadn't read that book in a long time. There were a few themes that kept popping up as I read: do not be afraid, don't forget my first love, and don't just listen but HEAR the Word. I had forgotten my first love. I had listened but hadn't really heard His voice. And because of all this, I was afraid living in a life out of whack fully engulfed in chaos.
It's amazing what life teaches you sometimes; all the time really. If only we are still often enough to succumb to the lessons our lives would be filled with less disaster and more peace. I learned my lesson loud and clear this summer. I may have needed a slap upside the head to get there, but I will not forget. Life is messy. Life is crazy. Being busy is the way to live these days. It's time to heed our bodies cry for slowness and accept that it's ok when a snail gets out of line.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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