Skip to main content

Parent Fail

Scott and I are blessed with some pretty good kids. Generally, they listen and respect authority, they do well in school, and are overall healthy thriving boys. We broke up the occasional spat over someone taking someone else's toy or being in someone's space but, overall, they got along...until about a year ago. Goodness gracious Lord Almighty! What on earth happened? All of a sudden our days are filled with sending kids into their own corners to cool down. And you might as well throw self-control out the window because everything is a race or competition so you better get out of their way when they enter church: CHURCH PEOPLE.

We had a marvelous week off together last week. I love having time off together. I really do. Time is so very precious to me and I like to breath in these moments together because they fly by. However, by Thursday (Thanksgiving), the sweet obedient children turned into WWF wrestlers who suddenly lost their hearing. They could not, for the life of themselves, keep their hands off one another. Apparently they lost their hearing, as well, because any behavior modifications Scott and I imposed did not register. By Friday I was ready to throw in the towel.

I text a girlfriend basically telling her that I was quitting the mom job. Obviously, I am completely unqualified so I am out. I told her I wanted my babies and toddlers back. At least then I could just put them in time-out and call it a day. We could hug it out after time-out and get hugs and kisses. I miss those days. This big kid parenting is no joke. All of a sudden these small humans have a voice and they aren't afraid to use them. They push back and I am responsible for teaching them character. Scary.

I felt completely defeated. I fell into Scott like I have done so many times throughout these parenting years expressing my disdain for the wrestling matches that sounded like someone was about to break through the ceiling. I wanted peace and I was exhausted from fighting so hard to salvage any assemblage of quiet. He reminded me that they're just kids and that we need to stay consistent. You know, the whole, "train them up in the way they should go" stuff (Proverbs 22:6). Except, I didn't want to train anymore. Shouldn't they be trained by now? Goodness!

I ended up going to the gym; my therapist. I needed to work some of this out. I also told Scott I needed some fun family time before I go insane and resent everyone. We piled in the car after I got back I determined to enjoy my family. We didn't tell the kids where we were going as a surprise. When we finally arrived at our destination, the boys were stoked! And then we told them they were not there to play video games but to bowl. You would've thought I gave away their dog. The tears flowed and a certain someone mastered the pouty lip. I wanted to enjoy my family not sit around watching them play a game on a screen. I desperately needed positive interaction with my people and knew that wasn't going to happen if we went to the arcade so Scott and I stuck to our guns: YOU ARE GOING TO BOWL AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT!!!! Guess, what? They ended up, we ended up, having an incredible time together. We laughed. We cheered each other on. We encouraged when others weren't doing so well. We smiled. Oh, how good it felt to smile again.

When I get trapped in my parenting fail moments I am tunneled vision on the 10-15% of poor behavior my boys express and completely forget the 90% of goodness. I question myself and whether or not I am royally screwing these kids up. I love hard and my love runs deep for these kids. So does my passion for them to grow-up to become good humans. This training is not for the faint of heart but man, it is worth it even if the only reward is a few hours of smiles during a family bowling session.

Monday rolled around and I pulled the boys' backpacks out. I had apparently forgotten to clean their papers out before the break. I pulled a letter out of Jack's backpack. He was writing to Scott and I expressing his thanks. The very first reason was that he was thankful that we tell the truth even when we say no. Bam. Those words melted me. He gets it even when he seems like he isn't listening. He realizes we love him to the core even when we have to say no or discipline. I couldn't believe what I was reading. It was like a letter from God saying, "Keep on keepin' on. You're not as bad as you think."

Train I will I guess. I will muddle through the trenches of parenting failing along the way. I will gain a few more gray hairs and want to bang my head against the wall. But, then those smiles will come again and I will remember that we are a family that stands together loving and giving grace even when it's hard.

"Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6

Love & Blessings,
Meg

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Holy Holy

I can't stop singing, "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty." Scott and I went to the "big" ultrasound today where we tested to see if our baby had Down's, one of the Trisomy disorders, or any neural tube defects. I must admit the palms were a little sweaty and the heart was racing a bit. As surreal as this pregnancy is, I don't want anything to be wrong with this precious life inside of me. Well, holy is right. The Lord is not just good; He is awesome! Our little baby instantly began moving and grooving for us showing off fingers and toes and a great heart beat! Even though I am on my third, watching the miracle of life on that screen NEVER gets old! It truly blows my mind every time I get to see our precious angels developing inside of me! The scan came out wonderfully. We got all positives on all the scans the doctor (who was absolutely INCREDIBLE) could do. Now we just wait for some blood work to confirm that everything is okay with our little boy. ...

Our Miracle

"He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted." Job 9:10 "You are the God who performs miracles; You will display Your power among the peoples." Psalm 77:14 Meet our miracle...and our secret. Yes, it is true. I am pregnant; about twelve weeks and a few days to be exact. We wanted to make sure this baby was healthy before announcing how great God has been to us! We have known about this precious little blessing for a little over two months and have eagerly awaited numerous sonogram and test results. We have witnessed God's mighty, yet gentle, hand every Tuesday for the past five weeks. This baby is a fighter. However, the road is not "clear" quite yet. We met with the pareanatoligist today to do a sonogram and blood test to determine if there are any chromosomal abnormalities; specifically Downs, and Trisomy 13 and 18. Although the sonogram looked great and the doctor said we were in the "safe zone," we are stil...

Grady's Story

Grady Steven Fish 7lbs. 3oz. 19 1/2inches April 25, 2009 4:45pm SURPRISE! Actually, I think absolute shock is more appropriate! This was me a week ago...happy at 36 weeks pregnant with not much happening. I thought for sure that I had at least 2 weeks left, if not four. I did, however, frantically run around town that day getting all the things I thought I needed to get just in case. Good thing I am a little neurotic and OCD because it paid off a few days later. I have had contractions on and off since I was 25 weeks pregnant or so. I never thought anything of them because they were so sporadic and fairly painless. Friday camearound and I noticed that I was having more contractions than usual. Grady was still moving about so I didn't worry much. Around 2:30pm that day I laid down because the contractions were coming on a little stronger and closer together. I called Scott to let him know and honestly, to see when he was coming home from work. Jackson was still napping and I wasn...