Scott and I are blessed with some pretty good kids. Generally, they listen and respect authority, they do well in school, and are overall healthy thriving boys. We broke up the occasional spat over someone taking someone else's toy or being in someone's space but, overall, they got along...until about a year ago. Goodness gracious Lord Almighty! What on earth happened? All of a sudden our days are filled with sending kids into their own corners to cool down. And you might as well throw self-control out the window because everything is a race or competition so you better get out of their way when they enter church: CHURCH PEOPLE.
We had a marvelous week off together last week. I love having time off together. I really do. Time is so very precious to me and I like to breath in these moments together because they fly by. However, by Thursday (Thanksgiving), the sweet obedient children turned into WWF wrestlers who suddenly lost their hearing. They could not, for the life of themselves, keep their hands off one another. Apparently they lost their hearing, as well, because any behavior modifications Scott and I imposed did not register. By Friday I was ready to throw in the towel.
I text a girlfriend basically telling her that I was quitting the mom job. Obviously, I am completely unqualified so I am out. I told her I wanted my babies and toddlers back. At least then I could just put them in time-out and call it a day. We could hug it out after time-out and get hugs and kisses. I miss those days. This big kid parenting is no joke. All of a sudden these small humans have a voice and they aren't afraid to use them. They push back and I am responsible for teaching them character. Scary.
I felt completely defeated. I fell into Scott like I have done so many times throughout these parenting years expressing my disdain for the wrestling matches that sounded like someone was about to break through the ceiling. I wanted peace and I was exhausted from fighting so hard to salvage any assemblage of quiet. He reminded me that they're just kids and that we need to stay consistent. You know, the whole, "train them up in the way they should go" stuff (Proverbs 22:6). Except, I didn't want to train anymore. Shouldn't they be trained by now? Goodness!
I ended up going to the gym; my therapist. I needed to work some of this out. I also told Scott I needed some fun family time before I go insane and resent everyone. We piled in the car after I got back I determined to enjoy my family. We didn't tell the kids where we were going as a surprise. When we finally arrived at our destination, the boys were stoked! And then we told them they were not there to play video games but to bowl. You would've thought I gave away their dog. The tears flowed and a certain someone mastered the pouty lip. I wanted to enjoy my family not sit around watching them play a game on a screen. I desperately needed positive interaction with my people and knew that wasn't going to happen if we went to the arcade so Scott and I stuck to our guns: YOU ARE GOING TO BOWL AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT!!!! Guess, what? They ended up, we ended up, having an incredible time together. We laughed. We cheered each other on. We encouraged when others weren't doing so well. We smiled. Oh, how good it felt to smile again.
When I get trapped in my parenting fail moments I am tunneled vision on the 10-15% of poor behavior my boys express and completely forget the 90% of goodness. I question myself and whether or not I am royally screwing these kids up. I love hard and my love runs deep for these kids. So does my passion for them to grow-up to become good humans. This training is not for the faint of heart but man, it is worth it even if the only reward is a few hours of smiles during a family bowling session.
Monday rolled around and I pulled the boys' backpacks out. I had apparently forgotten to clean their papers out before the break. I pulled a letter out of Jack's backpack. He was writing to Scott and I expressing his thanks. The very first reason was that he was thankful that we tell the truth even when we say no. Bam. Those words melted me. He gets it even when he seems like he isn't listening. He realizes we love him to the core even when we have to say no or discipline. I couldn't believe what I was reading. It was like a letter from God saying, "Keep on keepin' on. You're not as bad as you think."
Train I will I guess. I will muddle through the trenches of parenting failing along the way. I will gain a few more gray hairs and want to bang my head against the wall. But, then those smiles will come again and I will remember that we are a family that stands together loving and giving grace even when it's hard.
"Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6
Love & Blessings,
Meg
We had a marvelous week off together last week. I love having time off together. I really do. Time is so very precious to me and I like to breath in these moments together because they fly by. However, by Thursday (Thanksgiving), the sweet obedient children turned into WWF wrestlers who suddenly lost their hearing. They could not, for the life of themselves, keep their hands off one another. Apparently they lost their hearing, as well, because any behavior modifications Scott and I imposed did not register. By Friday I was ready to throw in the towel.
I text a girlfriend basically telling her that I was quitting the mom job. Obviously, I am completely unqualified so I am out. I told her I wanted my babies and toddlers back. At least then I could just put them in time-out and call it a day. We could hug it out after time-out and get hugs and kisses. I miss those days. This big kid parenting is no joke. All of a sudden these small humans have a voice and they aren't afraid to use them. They push back and I am responsible for teaching them character. Scary.
I felt completely defeated. I fell into Scott like I have done so many times throughout these parenting years expressing my disdain for the wrestling matches that sounded like someone was about to break through the ceiling. I wanted peace and I was exhausted from fighting so hard to salvage any assemblage of quiet. He reminded me that they're just kids and that we need to stay consistent. You know, the whole, "train them up in the way they should go" stuff (Proverbs 22:6). Except, I didn't want to train anymore. Shouldn't they be trained by now? Goodness!
I ended up going to the gym; my therapist. I needed to work some of this out. I also told Scott I needed some fun family time before I go insane and resent everyone. We piled in the car after I got back I determined to enjoy my family. We didn't tell the kids where we were going as a surprise. When we finally arrived at our destination, the boys were stoked! And then we told them they were not there to play video games but to bowl. You would've thought I gave away their dog. The tears flowed and a certain someone mastered the pouty lip. I wanted to enjoy my family not sit around watching them play a game on a screen. I desperately needed positive interaction with my people and knew that wasn't going to happen if we went to the arcade so Scott and I stuck to our guns: YOU ARE GOING TO BOWL AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT!!!! Guess, what? They ended up, we ended up, having an incredible time together. We laughed. We cheered each other on. We encouraged when others weren't doing so well. We smiled. Oh, how good it felt to smile again.
When I get trapped in my parenting fail moments I am tunneled vision on the 10-15% of poor behavior my boys express and completely forget the 90% of goodness. I question myself and whether or not I am royally screwing these kids up. I love hard and my love runs deep for these kids. So does my passion for them to grow-up to become good humans. This training is not for the faint of heart but man, it is worth it even if the only reward is a few hours of smiles during a family bowling session.
Monday rolled around and I pulled the boys' backpacks out. I had apparently forgotten to clean their papers out before the break. I pulled a letter out of Jack's backpack. He was writing to Scott and I expressing his thanks. The very first reason was that he was thankful that we tell the truth even when we say no. Bam. Those words melted me. He gets it even when he seems like he isn't listening. He realizes we love him to the core even when we have to say no or discipline. I couldn't believe what I was reading. It was like a letter from God saying, "Keep on keepin' on. You're not as bad as you think."
Train I will I guess. I will muddle through the trenches of parenting failing along the way. I will gain a few more gray hairs and want to bang my head against the wall. But, then those smiles will come again and I will remember that we are a family that stands together loving and giving grace even when it's hard.
"Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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