About three or four weeks ago, we noticed a change in our oldest. He was bringing home grades that were atypical. We called a meeting with his teachers and found out that his sinking grades matched his sinking behavior. Although not perfect, the eldest Fish boy is typically the one we don't have to worry about at school: a natural born leader who gets fantastic grades and wants to join every extracurricular activity there is. This was a shock to my husband and I, but, we joined together with his teachers and all seems on the up-and-up.
A week later I receive a phone call. Mr. Middle Child was now struggling. This is the kid that we choose to take with us when we run errands because he's like taking your purse: super easy as he just tags along not saying much of anything. His teacher informed us he was showing signs of not caring about his work turning in scribbles and incomplete assignments. We get that situation nipped in the bud and I gain twenty-five more gray hairs.
I begin praising the good Lord above that the youngest Fish in the pond had received stickers...for the time being. And then, I got the call. This little stubborn fella decided arguing with his teacher was on the agenda for the day. By the time he argued with her that there is no way that it can be cold on a sunny day, she had had enough. Can't say I blame her.
And there I was-a mom to three hoodlums. Their futures grew gray and I decided I was a bad mom with bad kids. Everyone else's Instagram posts were filled with kid praises, awards, and kids doing random acts of kindness. I felt alone with my heathens.
I realized in an instant what an idiot I was being. I know my kids are good kids. They are smart, kind, full of love and grace yet I let image determine my opinion; if only for a slight moment. My boys' hearts didn't change because of a small season of poor choices. Their hearts were still pure and right with God. Yet, I let a bad decision determine their character.
I am a rule follower; a self-proclaimed good girl. I try really hard for people to see a girl who seeks righteousness. Yet, in all that outward "goodness," there have been times where my heart was impure.
All to often, we determine the state of ones' heart on the image they portray. In reality, their reflection is hard to take. We look in the mirror and see our true selves, yet we project what the world wants to see: perfect well-mannered kids who say, "yes ma'am" and "yes sir." Coordinating outfits for the whole family. A perfect marriage full of love. A house that would make Chip and Joanna swoon. In actuality, we are breaking inside. Our hearts do not match or image and we ignore our reflection because it's much easier to live in the surreal than the real.
Why do we struggle so much with vulnerability? We know we are all disheveled but we still hide behind our image. God knows the state of our hearts. He knows when we are being real and when we are faking it until we make it. We've all been there.
"And God, who knows the heart, testified to them giving them the Holy Spirit, just as He also did to us" Acts 15:8
I'm kind of glad my boys had a rough time. It gave me an opportunity to realize that my boys are real human beings who make mistakes. They need unconditional love and someone to walk alongside them letting them know someone believes in them. They were real and raw and did not try to hide their wrong-doing. They came clean and improved. That says more than many of us adults.
I am going to try to look at that reflection more often. I want to make sure the reflection matches the image I am projecting. And, more importantly, that everything is flowing from a heart that is in line with my Savior.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23
Love & Blessings,
Meg
A week later I receive a phone call. Mr. Middle Child was now struggling. This is the kid that we choose to take with us when we run errands because he's like taking your purse: super easy as he just tags along not saying much of anything. His teacher informed us he was showing signs of not caring about his work turning in scribbles and incomplete assignments. We get that situation nipped in the bud and I gain twenty-five more gray hairs.
I begin praising the good Lord above that the youngest Fish in the pond had received stickers...for the time being. And then, I got the call. This little stubborn fella decided arguing with his teacher was on the agenda for the day. By the time he argued with her that there is no way that it can be cold on a sunny day, she had had enough. Can't say I blame her.
And there I was-a mom to three hoodlums. Their futures grew gray and I decided I was a bad mom with bad kids. Everyone else's Instagram posts were filled with kid praises, awards, and kids doing random acts of kindness. I felt alone with my heathens.
I realized in an instant what an idiot I was being. I know my kids are good kids. They are smart, kind, full of love and grace yet I let image determine my opinion; if only for a slight moment. My boys' hearts didn't change because of a small season of poor choices. Their hearts were still pure and right with God. Yet, I let a bad decision determine their character.
I am a rule follower; a self-proclaimed good girl. I try really hard for people to see a girl who seeks righteousness. Yet, in all that outward "goodness," there have been times where my heart was impure.
All to often, we determine the state of ones' heart on the image they portray. In reality, their reflection is hard to take. We look in the mirror and see our true selves, yet we project what the world wants to see: perfect well-mannered kids who say, "yes ma'am" and "yes sir." Coordinating outfits for the whole family. A perfect marriage full of love. A house that would make Chip and Joanna swoon. In actuality, we are breaking inside. Our hearts do not match or image and we ignore our reflection because it's much easier to live in the surreal than the real.
Why do we struggle so much with vulnerability? We know we are all disheveled but we still hide behind our image. God knows the state of our hearts. He knows when we are being real and when we are faking it until we make it. We've all been there.
"And God, who knows the heart, testified to them giving them the Holy Spirit, just as He also did to us" Acts 15:8
I'm kind of glad my boys had a rough time. It gave me an opportunity to realize that my boys are real human beings who make mistakes. They need unconditional love and someone to walk alongside them letting them know someone believes in them. They were real and raw and did not try to hide their wrong-doing. They came clean and improved. That says more than many of us adults.
I am going to try to look at that reflection more often. I want to make sure the reflection matches the image I am projecting. And, more importantly, that everything is flowing from a heart that is in line with my Savior.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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