I remember watching a white Bronco driving somewhat slow down the 405 in Southern California being chased by police cars. I remember sitting in one of our history teacher's classrooms at my high school to watch the verdict. I remember the emotions that consumed our area. I remember many feeling like justice wasn't served. There was no resolve. I am currently recording the OJ Simpson story that is playing out on TV. Something about this story, this conflict, garners my attention. Maybe it's because it was one of those big stories growing up. Maybe because it happened so close to where I lived. Maybe it's because I am drawn to conflict. Maybe.
I wonder what draws us to stories like this. I wonder why we are so drawn to conflict. We say we desire a resolution but when it comes, we are oftentimes left unsatisfied.
I am not one to make New Year's resolutions. I am a lifestyle change kind of girl. Don't tell me I am on a diet or I will want all the cake and all the French fries. Don't put new parameters on me or I will want to break free. I have to make a whole life change. I cannot do something for a certain amount of days. It has to be for all the days. But, this year I made a new resolution. Well, maybe it really was a lifestyle change.
I want to celebrate resolution. I want to shout for joy when people who once had conflict come together and resolve their issues. Why, oh why, is this so difficult for us?
I read a blog in which the author discussed how she deals with conflict. She discussed how she always avoids conflict. She allows enough time and space to get in the way of the friendship that they eventually break away from each other never resolving their issues. She always thought it was the other person. Maybe that person is sick of me. Maybe she cannot forgive me. What she came to realize was that it was never the other person's issue. It was hers. She could not forgive herself. She did not love herself enough to think the other person wanted to resolve the conflict.
Maybe that's you. Maybe you are afraid of the other person's reaction so you busy yourself just enough to make the relationship diminish. Or, you hate conflict, so much so, that you sweep everything under the rug and pretend all is good.
Here's the thing, we are all scared. No one wants to hurt anyone. Everyone wants the other person to be held accountable. No one wants to be yelled at, told off, or talked about in a negative way. At least I don't. But, here's what God tells us to do when presented with conflict:
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." Matthew 18:15-17
He doesn't tell us to avoid the conflict. He doesn't tell us to ignore it. He tells us to talk about it. He gives us guidance when the other doesn't listen. Jesus knew we would have conflict. He didn't leave us hanging. He told us to talk it out and not stay stuck.
My desire is to celebrate the victories when we resolve our conflicts. I don't want to stay stuck in the angry or frustrated. I don't want my friends to stay stuck there either. I want to be an encourager of resolve. Let's lead each other to victories over conflict. Let's rejoice when our friends make-up and not wonder why they forgave each other.
"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13
Love & Blessings,
Meg
I wonder what draws us to stories like this. I wonder why we are so drawn to conflict. We say we desire a resolution but when it comes, we are oftentimes left unsatisfied.
I am not one to make New Year's resolutions. I am a lifestyle change kind of girl. Don't tell me I am on a diet or I will want all the cake and all the French fries. Don't put new parameters on me or I will want to break free. I have to make a whole life change. I cannot do something for a certain amount of days. It has to be for all the days. But, this year I made a new resolution. Well, maybe it really was a lifestyle change.
I want to celebrate resolution. I want to shout for joy when people who once had conflict come together and resolve their issues. Why, oh why, is this so difficult for us?
I read a blog in which the author discussed how she deals with conflict. She discussed how she always avoids conflict. She allows enough time and space to get in the way of the friendship that they eventually break away from each other never resolving their issues. She always thought it was the other person. Maybe that person is sick of me. Maybe she cannot forgive me. What she came to realize was that it was never the other person's issue. It was hers. She could not forgive herself. She did not love herself enough to think the other person wanted to resolve the conflict.
Maybe that's you. Maybe you are afraid of the other person's reaction so you busy yourself just enough to make the relationship diminish. Or, you hate conflict, so much so, that you sweep everything under the rug and pretend all is good.
Here's the thing, we are all scared. No one wants to hurt anyone. Everyone wants the other person to be held accountable. No one wants to be yelled at, told off, or talked about in a negative way. At least I don't. But, here's what God tells us to do when presented with conflict:
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." Matthew 18:15-17
He doesn't tell us to avoid the conflict. He doesn't tell us to ignore it. He tells us to talk about it. He gives us guidance when the other doesn't listen. Jesus knew we would have conflict. He didn't leave us hanging. He told us to talk it out and not stay stuck.
My desire is to celebrate the victories when we resolve our conflicts. I don't want to stay stuck in the angry or frustrated. I don't want my friends to stay stuck there either. I want to be an encourager of resolve. Let's lead each other to victories over conflict. Let's rejoice when our friends make-up and not wonder why they forgave each other.
"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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