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Do

The boys woke up at 7am. That's sleeping in in our house. I don't know how y'all get your kiddos to sleep in. I am amazed when I see friends post 9am wake-up times. I can only wish one day.

My three monkies jumped out of bed and ran to their perspective morning places...Jack on his computer. Grady and Wyatt generating intricate Minecraft creations. They know that after breakfast is where technology dies and the responsibilities begin.

After breakfast, I was sat in my room taking in a little news sipping on those glorious first sips of coffee while the boys worked upstairs. A sense of guilt began to wash over me as I sat there listening to the latest political extravaganza. I should be doing something. I need to be doing something. My worth is tied up in doing things. Sitting here is not productive.

I got out of bed and headed upstairs to check on the boys. I wanted to make sure they were actually following their to-do lists and not sneaking in a little screen time. Sure enough, they were constructing amazing stories and illustrations in their journals. I was impressed and headed back downstairs.

As I took it easy, I realized that I need to relax. I thought back to my childhood and my summers and remembered that my mom was not there guiding my days. She was not my cruise director planning activities to fill my days so I didn't get bored. Some days I sat and watched The Price is Right with my sister. Other days, I swam at my friend's house. Sometimes we explored the ditch (I still can't believe I was allowed to play there.). And, gasp, some days I did absolutely nothing. I sat in my room and played with my Barbie dolls and stuffed animals. I built blanket forts and slept in them at night. I was bored and entertained...a kid.

I have a hard time doing nothing. A really hard time. I have always taken care of myself somehow some way. I worked hard most of my life. Staying home and being a mom is difficult for me sometimes. I actually have tears typing those words. It's not that I don't like staying home with my boys. It is an absolute privilege, honor, and blessing to get to live this life being there for my boys. I just tend to find worth and value in the doing and sometimes being a mom means you sit back and do nothing to let your kids be just that: kids.

I want to be okay with having nothing on the agenda. I need to realize that sometimes the best times are the times when we do nothing; when nothing is written on the agenda. That's where the magic happens and the memories are made: in those moments when we have nothing scheduled.

I don't want my kids to have my childhood because it is not theirs to have. They have their own childhood to live. But, I do want to remember those lazy summers days that I took for granted when I was eight. Those days when I did nothing but puttered around the house. I want those moments for my kids and even for myself.

We find ourselves in the moments where we have nothing to do. We learn to create, imagine, and rest. We become who we want to be when we grow up in the moments of nothingness. Our minds are jump-started to move beyond the confines of the list and schedule and thrust into the world of dreams and imagination.

I am learning to be okay with the nothing-to-do list. We will have scheduled days, play dates, and to-dos. But on those days where there's nothing written on the calendar, we will rest and imagine and create and even rest. And I will be okay with that because I know that's where the magic happens; where we find God and faith and life: in the space of not doing.

'Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”' Matthew 6:31

'I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest."' Psalm 55:6

Love & Blessings,
Meg

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