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Lavish

I got into my car music blaring screaming six year old in the back seat. I turned the music down because I couldn't do so much noise. My eldest asked to turn the music back up and I had to tell him I needed it off. He was a little disappointed since he had chosen the music. He thought he had put his camp CD in but then realized it was an old WOW Worship CD.

I rushed Jackson to the baseball fields to drop him off with his dad who was there running the scoreboard for his brother's game. Of course, Scott left his phone at home that night. It was acting wonky so he left it charging. I couldn't get a hold of him and needed to. Wyatt was in a lot of pain and I needed to take him to urgent care.

Ever feel like life is like standing at home plate while ball after ball is screaming at you and you don't have a bat to hit them away? I feel that way. In the past month we have dealt with a broken fridge, air conditioner outage, a dying car that was bleeding money to fix, broken sprinklers, cell phones that don't want to work, a kid having an asthma attack, another kid with severe stomach pains, crazy doctor's appointments that involve kicking, screaming, and being held down, and allergy testing that's just not fun. Nothing works. Everything keeps breaking. Life is throwing me fast pitch after fast pitch and I can't seem to dodge them.

"There's an emptiness we must experience in order to strip ourselves of all earthly recovery. It's a place where the only option is whatever God provides. It's a pure place. A necessary place." A Mile Wide, Brandon Hatmaker

I got back in my car after being at the ER for almost two hours. My baby was exhausted and I was freezing. Why are those places always so cold? The moment I turned the car on, my buddy was asleep. I heard the music playing. That music my big-hearted ten year old had put in my CD player earlier that evening. "Your grace is enough. I am covered in Your love." I just sat there and bawled.

While we were waiting in the ER, Wyatt fell asleep. I decided to stop perusing Instagram and do some of my Bible study. Line after line described God's strength. I was a little concerned when I started this study. I am not familiar with the author and when I first watched her video I thought it may be depressing. As I sat there and read, it was quite the opposite. Line upon line talked about His provision, His grace, His strength that covers me.

'The Lord said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned with their suffering." Exodus 3:7

He is concerned with me. He cares about my suffering.

Verse after verse reminded me that He know the very depths of my heart and cares about my desires (1 Chronicles 28:9). He sees and knows everything about me (Proverbs 5:21). He keeps watch over me (Proverbs 15:3). He has great care for me. He knows intricate details about me (Matthew 10:30).

I looked up from my study and I saw my baby sleeping soundly on the gurney. In that moment, I knew we were fine because I knew He was there.

People ask why God allows bad things to happen. While I know God is never the creator of bad things, I think sometimes He allows space for it so we create space within ourselves for Him. With all the goings on in our life this past month it would be easy to set God aside and become frustrated, hardened, and discouraged. But God. God lavished His love on me so apparently that I was moved to tears.

Brandon Hatmaker talks about how we need to be emptied to the point where nothing on this earth can heal us or bring us back. The only thing that can is God. And if we stop long enough and open our souls to receive, He will lavish His love on us so richly and so tenderly strengthening us to take on the world.

I woke up this morning knowing I had another challenge to face. My husband was going to be tied up with work and I needed to take one of our boy's to yet another doctor's appointment. While at the appointment, I get a phone call from the nurse about the other kiddos belly. Instead of curling up in a puddle of tears, I was prepared. He was there the night before. He was with me now.

I opened my TimeHop app and the very first picture was one word: Blessed. Wow. What a remindre! I came home to a freshly cleaned house not having to cook dinner (thank you school spirit night). Again, God lavished His love on me allowing today to be the day the house cleaners came and the day of our spirit night. It could of been any other day but it was today.

God lavishes His love on us daily. Sometimes we are too busy to see it. Other times, we are too frustrated or discouraged. Stop for a minute. I bet you can hear His whispers and feel His love. It's there.

Love & Blessings,
Meg

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