The 90s killed us. Our fashion sense was a mess. Our hair, well, most of us would love to hide pictures of ourselves from that era because of the hair alone. Music was grungy and so was our style. Doc Martins and crop tops were the norm. We were supposed to be Jesus Freaks thanks in part to DC Talk. Christian music came onto the scene with a vengeance. So did "quiet time" and "devotionals." All of a sudden, we were swept into this perfect scenario where one was supposed to wake before the rooster crowed, light a candle, and open her Bible. It was intense. The standard was set and it was set high.
I am a quiet time drop-out.
I became a Christian in the early nineties. The nineties were a space where I grew up both physically and spiritually. I jumped in the deep end digesting as much Christian music as I could and staying true to the quiet time standard. I thought that was what you were supposed to do to please God. Listen to good Christian music, go to church on Sundays and Wednesdays, and spend time alone with God in a very specific way for a very specific amount of time.
I had good intentions with my quiet time. I sat down, lit my candle, got my pen and journal ready (I forgot to tell you that journaling during quiet time was an absolute must), and opened my Bible. I prayed. And then my brain started wandering.
What will I have for breakfast.
I wonder what I should wear today.
Who should I hang out with in the Senior Quad at school?
Oops! I'm running late! I better hury!
Quiet time was tough for me. It all seemed so regimented and forced. This was not a natural space for me. I am not a quiet person. For the most part, I don't like quiet. I like noise. I relish in busy. So, to sit down while it was still dark out and contemplate my faith while reading the Bible and journaling my deepest thoughts was not my jam. And man, did I feel guilty. Anyone else? I wish I could have everyone raise their hands. I bet I am not alone.
Then, came marriage. Good gravy did I have a spiritual standard for God, quiet time, and marriage. My husband was supposed to lead us. He was supposed to pray these poignant prayers out loud over us every morning and night. We were supposed to sit at the dinner table holding hands reading the Word together; he guiding me. Oh, it was going to be lovely and perfect and all the things. Negative. Have you met my husband? He knows more Scripture and is more spiritual than I will ever be, but this is not how he is wired.
Again, with the guilt.
Next, came babies. If you want something to wreck any chance you have to create this magical quiet time with the Lord, start having kids. The first Fish woke every day before the rooster crows (he still does) so there goes the waking at the break of dawn to spend time with the Lord. As a new mom, I barely got myself into the shower, let alone spend thirty minutes of solitude with God. I would ingest a verse of the day on my flip calendar on the kitchen counter and my prayer life consisted of, "Please help me keep this kid alive today," and "Can I please get more sleep."
Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.
Kid number two came along and when he was three months old, I found out I was pregnant with kid number three. Soooooo...my God time came on Sunday morning, MOPS, and that awesome flip calendar with verses in my kitchen. I remember when the boys were all babies and I was sitting on the couch. They were playing nicely (I am sure the Disney channel was on. Let's be real) so I grabbed my Bible. I have a picture of my Bible in my lap, opened (baby steps, people) with little people at my feet. It was the season and I had to embrace it.
But, the guilt still crept in.
Look, we Christians like rules and standards. Tell me what to do and how to do it and I am all in. But, here's the deal, most of these standards we create are completely unattainable. I am not saying we need to chuck any recommendations for how to do this Christian thing. What I am suggesting is that maybe we allow some room to meet God organically. We allow space for the season we are in. We don't tell people that if they don't wake up at 5:45am every day and meet with the Lord fist thing than they are doing it wrong.
Look at God's relationship with Adam and Eve in the garden. He was relational from day one. They walked and talked together. It was holy, pure, and totally organic. Adam and Eve's time with the Lord was not constructed and regimented. They talked with the Lord. They spent time with Him. That's what God wants from us: our time. It doesn't matter if that happens at the kitchen table at the break of dawn or in your car when you are crying your eyes out to a certain worship song on the radio.
Just. Spend. Time. With. Him.
Place these words on your hearts. Get them deep inside you. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder. Teach them to your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning until you fall into bed at night. Inscribe them on the doorposts and gates of your cities so that you’ll live a long time, and your children with you, on the soil that God promised to give your ancestors for as long as there is a sky over the Earth. That’s right. If you diligently keep all this commandment that I command you to obey—love God, your God, do what he tells you, stick close to him... Deuteronomy 11:18-25a
No more guilt. Sometimes, I get this whole "spending time with God" right and am on a roll. I am in the Word every day and do journal in certain seasons. I also give myself grace in those moments when I didn't open the Bible that day but I still met with God in prayer. There is no structure. Just time well spent with the Lord. Deuteronomy tells us to talk about the Lord throughout your day Remind yourself of Him and the goodness He's done. I love the beginning of verse 25: "Stick close to him."
He just wants our time. It doesn't matter what that looks like for you. Talk to him: in the car, while folding laundry, while making dinner, when you wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. Keep your Bible open somewhere you pass a lot and read a verse. Get his Word in you somehow someway; a way that works for you. There are no rules other than to spend time with God. This is holy space.
I have this season figured out; I think. A new season will come and the way I spend my time with the Lord will change but it will still be there. My husband and I have found our rhythm in how to grow in our faith together. We are academics so having deep discussions about controversial topics regarding faith and culture or digging deep into understanding the mysterious of Scripture is where we thrive together. We do pray together but we don't do the whole holding hands at the kitchen table reading Scripture thing and I am okay with that because we are still finding God together.
Find your groove with God. Don't let the regimen of the quiet time standard squash your time with God. Everyone will look different. That's the beauty and holiness of God and spending time with Him. No more guilt. Just precious time spent with a loving Savior.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
I am a quiet time drop-out.
I became a Christian in the early nineties. The nineties were a space where I grew up both physically and spiritually. I jumped in the deep end digesting as much Christian music as I could and staying true to the quiet time standard. I thought that was what you were supposed to do to please God. Listen to good Christian music, go to church on Sundays and Wednesdays, and spend time alone with God in a very specific way for a very specific amount of time.
I had good intentions with my quiet time. I sat down, lit my candle, got my pen and journal ready (I forgot to tell you that journaling during quiet time was an absolute must), and opened my Bible. I prayed. And then my brain started wandering.
What will I have for breakfast.
I wonder what I should wear today.
Who should I hang out with in the Senior Quad at school?
Oops! I'm running late! I better hury!
Quiet time was tough for me. It all seemed so regimented and forced. This was not a natural space for me. I am not a quiet person. For the most part, I don't like quiet. I like noise. I relish in busy. So, to sit down while it was still dark out and contemplate my faith while reading the Bible and journaling my deepest thoughts was not my jam. And man, did I feel guilty. Anyone else? I wish I could have everyone raise their hands. I bet I am not alone.
Then, came marriage. Good gravy did I have a spiritual standard for God, quiet time, and marriage. My husband was supposed to lead us. He was supposed to pray these poignant prayers out loud over us every morning and night. We were supposed to sit at the dinner table holding hands reading the Word together; he guiding me. Oh, it was going to be lovely and perfect and all the things. Negative. Have you met my husband? He knows more Scripture and is more spiritual than I will ever be, but this is not how he is wired.
Again, with the guilt.
Next, came babies. If you want something to wreck any chance you have to create this magical quiet time with the Lord, start having kids. The first Fish woke every day before the rooster crows (he still does) so there goes the waking at the break of dawn to spend time with the Lord. As a new mom, I barely got myself into the shower, let alone spend thirty minutes of solitude with God. I would ingest a verse of the day on my flip calendar on the kitchen counter and my prayer life consisted of, "Please help me keep this kid alive today," and "Can I please get more sleep."
Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.
Kid number two came along and when he was three months old, I found out I was pregnant with kid number three. Soooooo...my God time came on Sunday morning, MOPS, and that awesome flip calendar with verses in my kitchen. I remember when the boys were all babies and I was sitting on the couch. They were playing nicely (I am sure the Disney channel was on. Let's be real) so I grabbed my Bible. I have a picture of my Bible in my lap, opened (baby steps, people) with little people at my feet. It was the season and I had to embrace it.
But, the guilt still crept in.
Look, we Christians like rules and standards. Tell me what to do and how to do it and I am all in. But, here's the deal, most of these standards we create are completely unattainable. I am not saying we need to chuck any recommendations for how to do this Christian thing. What I am suggesting is that maybe we allow some room to meet God organically. We allow space for the season we are in. We don't tell people that if they don't wake up at 5:45am every day and meet with the Lord fist thing than they are doing it wrong.
Look at God's relationship with Adam and Eve in the garden. He was relational from day one. They walked and talked together. It was holy, pure, and totally organic. Adam and Eve's time with the Lord was not constructed and regimented. They talked with the Lord. They spent time with Him. That's what God wants from us: our time. It doesn't matter if that happens at the kitchen table at the break of dawn or in your car when you are crying your eyes out to a certain worship song on the radio.
Just. Spend. Time. With. Him.
Place these words on your hearts. Get them deep inside you. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder. Teach them to your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning until you fall into bed at night. Inscribe them on the doorposts and gates of your cities so that you’ll live a long time, and your children with you, on the soil that God promised to give your ancestors for as long as there is a sky over the Earth. That’s right. If you diligently keep all this commandment that I command you to obey—love God, your God, do what he tells you, stick close to him... Deuteronomy 11:18-25a
No more guilt. Sometimes, I get this whole "spending time with God" right and am on a roll. I am in the Word every day and do journal in certain seasons. I also give myself grace in those moments when I didn't open the Bible that day but I still met with God in prayer. There is no structure. Just time well spent with the Lord. Deuteronomy tells us to talk about the Lord throughout your day Remind yourself of Him and the goodness He's done. I love the beginning of verse 25: "Stick close to him."
He just wants our time. It doesn't matter what that looks like for you. Talk to him: in the car, while folding laundry, while making dinner, when you wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. Keep your Bible open somewhere you pass a lot and read a verse. Get his Word in you somehow someway; a way that works for you. There are no rules other than to spend time with God. This is holy space.
I have this season figured out; I think. A new season will come and the way I spend my time with the Lord will change but it will still be there. My husband and I have found our rhythm in how to grow in our faith together. We are academics so having deep discussions about controversial topics regarding faith and culture or digging deep into understanding the mysterious of Scripture is where we thrive together. We do pray together but we don't do the whole holding hands at the kitchen table reading Scripture thing and I am okay with that because we are still finding God together.
Find your groove with God. Don't let the regimen of the quiet time standard squash your time with God. Everyone will look different. That's the beauty and holiness of God and spending time with Him. No more guilt. Just precious time spent with a loving Savior.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
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