The Fish Tank

I am the lucky mom of a climber. Jackson has now learned that he can climb on just about everything and so he does. We went to a new park yesterday and of course Jack found the highest thing to climb on. He climbed to the very top of this (no pic...I was standing under him for fear that he'd fall and break his arm). The post was more the 6 feet high. The kid is definitely a boy! The funniest part of our park experience was watching the boys with the geese. They were feeding them, chasing after them (the geese were not too happy about this), and telling them to jump in the water. Gavin was hilarious chasing the geese saying, "get back here!" We had a great time!

I've been searching to find what I am to learn through this season of my life. I knew in my heart that I wanted my faith to increase greatly. I wanted to feel the Lord in my bones and the depths of my soul. I didn't want to continue the "routine" of my faith. I wanted more. I was reading through my journal yesterday and found that I began praying for three things the weekend I became pregnant. The three things were as follows: 1. I want to fellowship with Christ even in His sufferings. Let me explain. I was reading through Philippians at the time and prayed what Paul said in chapter three verse ten in which he discusses his desire to know the power of the resurrection by sharing in His sufferings. I didn't want to know what dying on the cross was like exactly. I have not totally lost my mind. I did, however, want to experience more than my padded life that we all experience just by living in the United States. 2. I wanted to truly trust God not just say that I did...

Do you know what victory smells like? I do! I (well, God) was victorious today! I am healed! Wahoo! Praise God! I feel like a ton of bricks was lifted from my shoulders! All I can do is give glory to God. He has healed me inside and out. Now I can look to the future with hope and excitement: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and give you hope." Jer. 29:11 Now I just have to trust the Lord. My friend Michelle text me a quote from her pastor and I have made it my motto lately. Let me share it with you. "Do you trust the Lord with the things you love most? This is when faith takes root in our lives even when its a scary journey that God asks us to take" Thanks Pastor Rick! Thank you all for praying for us! I cannot even begin to describe what it feels like to know and have that many people praying on your behalf. It is my prayer that God will bless you beyond all you can ask or imagine! Blessings!

We had a great weekend and enjoyed some nice weather! Jackson had a blast playing outside and has really enjoyed his Uncle Keith who is staying with us. I had another therapy session with my paintbrush and added some clouds and a tree stump to Jack's playroom. Here are some pics from our weekend. Enjoy!

1. Spring-I cannot wait for the grass to turn green and the trees to regain life 2. I can't wait to feel the warmth of the sun on my face-it's cloudy and rainy today 3. A date night with my hubby-It's been a while. We are due. 4. I am looking forward to ending this season in my life and beginning another 5. I can't wait to see my mom and dad in April (and B-lo) 6. I also can't wait to see my sister and her kids in March! 7. going swimming in our pool...it was completed at the end of October so we haven't really been able to enjoy it yet 8. getting my hug from Jack when he wakes up from his nap...I always get a big squeeze after he wakes up 9. turning 30-I think this is going to be a good year for me...I still have 2 more months of my 20s though:) 10. putting my toes in the sand and smelling the ocean...I will be going to the beach when I go back to Cali in April 11. seeing Elijah walk:) 12. having another baby and smelling that sweet smell only a new baby can br...

Has anyone ever said to you, "Let go and let God"? I've heard that phrase many times before and honestly thought that I have let go and let God. However, I don't think I ever really "let go." I always hold onto some part of what I am trying to let go. I am an inward hoarder; a control freak. I am a fighter. I want to do things my way, and, many times, only trust myself to do it correctly. How awful is that? I trust myself with my life more than the One who created me. Hmmmm...I've never really thought about that until I just typed that out. Well, it only took major tragedy for me to learn my lesson but last night I learned to let go. I had a moment yesterday. I just broke down still reeling from everything. I think my emotions were hightened because today is my uncle's funeral. Whatever the case may be, I finally let go. I had to. I couldn't carry the weight of my burdens anymore. I was tired, weak, and hungry for something better for my life. No...

Okay, somebody stop me before my house looks like a circus. I am on a painting rampage. I cannot stop! It's my addiction. Do they have Painters Annonymous? Hello, my name is Megan, and I am addicted to painting my house. On a lighter note, at least I have a toddler who is benefitting from my madness. I have begun work on the playroom. Like Jack's room I would go in the playroom, look at the bare walls, and so desire to fill them. So, I decided to do a park theme. The walls in his playroom are awkward so this works for the space. I still have much more to do but here is a sample of what I've done so far. I will post more as I do more. I seriously paint a little something everyday. Next, I'm going to paint a sky and clouds and then some old street lamps with signs on them pointing to the rooms with Jack's name on one (Jackson Way) and the next baby's name on the other. Stay tuned...

1. He loves God 2. He loves me unconditionally 3. He listens to me 4. He's a simple guy; doesn't ask for much 5. He's content 6. He loves our son more then life itself 7. He'd do ANYTHING for me 8. He loves to see/make me happy 9. He makes me laugh 10. He helps me strive to be a better person 11. He's strong; my rock 12. He's handsome:) 13. He's giving I am one lucky girl to have the best husband and father in the world! Sorry ladies:) Thank you, Scott, for being you! I love you! Happy Valentine's Day! "Hoppy" Valentine's Day!

I went to bed last night defeated. I wept myself to sleep praying to God. I am overwhelmed. I don't know what to say or pray. I begin asking God the "why's." Why am I still going through the physical aspects of a miscarriage? It's been almost a month. Why was my uncle taken so quickly from my aunt and his children? They were supposed to grow old traveling together and enjoying one another. Why are my best friends being put through the trial of their life with no answers? Why does their sweet baby boy who is a perfect angel have to endure this? Why are our friends in California enduring a trial that has lasted more than two years? Why God? Why? To top it all off, I was exhausted and Jackson would not go down. Scott and I tried for over two hours to get the little guy down but he would cry so hard he made himself sick. So, he ended up in our bed. Although this usually is a blessing, I know I am not going to get the much needed rest I longed for because I would have ...

I had another therapy session on Saturday with my paintbrush and this time, my best friend Breanne. She painted the COOLEST safari jeep in Jack's room! I painted some grass and bamboo to add a little something to the green walls. It's looks amazing! This is one lucky kid! We had a blast painting together and letting our creativity run wild! Now Jackson can go on his jungle safari! The jeep! Isn't it AMAZING!!! Bre did such a tremendous job! I absolutely love it and am forever indebted to her! Another view of the jeep. Bamboo I painted by his closet. This is a picture of some grass and bamboo that I did in the corner by the entrance to his room. I already posted these pictures but thought I'd repost them so you could see them with the room finished.

Let me start by saying that I am NOT a crazy driver!!! I drive the speed limit and follow traffic rules most of the time. Jack, however, has decided lately to hold on for dear life. He just started this a few days ago and I was able to catch a pic of him when we were stopped at a light....no, I know what you are all thinking and no, I did not take this pic while in motion. I was stopped!

1. I like things clean and orderly 2. Organization both a blessing and a flaw in me 3. EVERYTHING has a place & should be put back there after use 4. Things have to be straight 5. I cannot leave dishes in the sink 6. I can't rest/relax...there is always something to do 7. I have to be challenged constantly or I'll get bored 8. Everything has to match 9. I will start one thing and think of a billion other things I have to do and realize after a few minutes that I am trying to do a billion things at one time 10. I always seem to be rushing to get out the door no matter how much time I give myself 11. The decorative pillows on my bed go a certain way and that's that (Scott loves to mess with me and move them around or mess them up) 12. I will walk around my house straightening things throughout the day 13. I clean up a mess before the mess is over Case in point...even Jackson's caught on to mommy's craziness After I had cleaned the entire house, Jackson decided to ...

Who needs a psychologist to tell all your sorrows too when you can drown them out in a painting session??? That's just what I did! Saturday was a beautifully warm day in Texas and I enjoyed the beauty and peace by opening the window and painting Jackson's room. Can I just say that this was SO refreshing and much needed! I have disliked his room decor for a while now and just haven't done anything with it...until now! I figured since I don't have a nursery to design, just yet, Jack can reap the benefits of his mommy's inner teacher creativity that has been brewing inside me since I quit and is dieing to get out! His nursery was safari animals back in California and I have always liked the safair theme. However, once he went to a big boy bed it was difficult to find cute animal bedding. So, I got him simple striped bedding that will last as he gets older and decided to spice up his walls. The room is by no means done yet. I still have to hang the chair rail, add some ...

Okay, so both us and the Bullard clan have been busy and haven't hung out as much as usual until this weekend. We are having a Fish-Bullard family reunion hanging out with each other everyday this weekend and the boys are LOVING it!!! We are actually waiting for Jackson to wake up so we can go once again to hang out with the Bullards!!! Here are some photos of our fun-filled weekend! They both wanted to sit in the basket and go for a ride. This was funny until my basket started to snap. Flying an airplane...or so they think...heeheehee! Dance-dance-dance-dancin' machine! Blessings, The Fish-Bullard Clans