The Fish Tank

1. I am saved by a loving, just, and never changing Savior 2. I have an awesomely wonderfully perfect husband! 3. My marriage is beyond blessed! 4. I am blessed to be a mommy to an AMAZING son who brings a smile to my face each and every day and challenges me to be a better person. 5. I am not, don't have to be, and never will be, perfect:) 6. I have a roof over my head, a warm place to sleep, and too much food to eat. 7. I get to stay home to enjoy and raise Jackson. 8. I can freely worship, read my Bible, and practice my religion without fear of persecution or even death. 9. I had a career in my past life that I can always go back to if I wanted or needed to. 10. I am educated and very thankful for that! 11. I love waking up next to my best friend each morning. 12. I have the most fantastic and loving family and friends!!! They are beyond loving and supportive of me and my life! 13. I have a pool to help beat this Texas heat:) LOL!!!! Yep...I'm one blessed lady!!! And not a d...

Of course I am learning something through this trial. I would be lying if I said I wasn't or if I told you that I wasn't being challenged in some way. One of my very dear friends has been telling me to read this book for some time now. I was very hesitant at first because I knew what it would entail and I don't think I was ready. The title of the book is, "When I Lay My Isaac Down." Now do you understand my hesitation? I am not ready to give up control. God asked Abraham to remain faithful and sacrifice his son, Isaac. I could not do that! Are you crazy?! Abraham's unmovable faith astounds and baffles me! But, God says we can have that kind of faith. He actually desires it of us! What I am learning is that no matter what God asks me to "lay down" He promises to be there. He promises so much more for me through my faithfulness. He has also been teaching me that what I think I am actually grasping onto; controlling is not really there. I don't have...

So, I LOVE my story today!!! I thought I had a good one but he one-upped me last night. Below is another one of our wonderful conversations on our way home from getting ice cream. Jackson: Mommy, we go to Target? (It's really close to our house so he can see it on our way home. Plus, we go there every other day so...) Me: Not right now. Jackson: UGH!!! (A huge loud sigh of disgust) C'mon!!! Me: Did you just say that? Are you serious kid? Oh my goodness gracious! I so wish all of you could have been in the car when my 2-year old turned teenager responded to me with such disgust that we weren't going to Target. I was dieing with laughter! Well, I guess he is now fallen victim to the Target addiction like so many of us. Hopefully I can ween him off of Target soon!

"He trusts in the Lord; let the Lord rescue him Let Him deliver him, since he delights in Him." Psalm 22:8

I had an epiphany this morning the moment I woke up. The best part is, I remembered it! You know how you wake up, remember a dream, and then five minutes later completely forget it. Well, I didn't want to forget my masterful thought so I thought I'd blog it! We've all heard and most of us will say/admit that God is good and desires to do great things for us. We hold onto this even as horrible things happen to and around us and it seems all hope is lost. Although it is difficult for me to admit, I tend to be a pessimist with certain things. When life is going good I am bracing for the next storm. When the storm hits I always think of the most tragic outome just "preparing myself" for the worst. Yet you will find me saying "God wants to do great and wonderful things." Well, I had an epiphany! Why do I always think and wait for the next big storm missing the very treasures God is giving me in the moment? I can't answer that. What I can do is make a choi...

I made up my own new theme for a day:) I'm so very proud of myself...hahaha! I figured I had to make something up because I missed Thursday Thirteen and coming up with five things is much easier than thirteen! Anyway, I digress. Here are five verses that inspire, challenge, and encourage me! 1. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 2. "I am suffering right now but I am not without hope. Because I know who I believe in and I am convinced that He is able to keep my life and faith that I have committed to Him until the day of His return." 2Tim. 1:12 3. "But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me." Psalm 13: 5-6 4. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, whi...

MyHeritage : Family tree - Genealogy - Celeb - Collage - Morph Well, that just solves everything now doesn't it?!

"But as for me, I would seek God, And I would place my cause before God; Who does great and unsearchable things, Wonders without number," Job 5:8-9 "I am suffering right now but I am not without hope. Because I know who I believe in and I am convinced that He is able to keep my life and faith that I have committed to Him until the day of His return." 2Tim. 1:12

Peace...we all talk about it. World peace, peace in our lives, being peaceful to one another, peace in the stillness. But have you ever felt it; true inner peace? I have. I did. Yesterday. I was very nervous to go in for my procedure; nervous about what it would feel like, what being put under would be like, how I'd feel after. However, I had this overwhelming calm about me all day. I was okay. I felt like I could do this; I would survive. And sure enough, I did. I cannot attribute this peace to me and my strength. This peace was divine; beyond me and this life. It was better than any peace I have ever experienced. This peace came from you; from you praying for me and God granting me peace in honor of your prayers. I was actually okay. I was okay with being put under and going through a procedure in which one moment I was pregnant and the next I was not. I wasn't crying uncontrollably or trying to escape the hospital like I had thought. I smiled and felt such a sense of calm th...

Scott and Mike went out for boys' night, which was much needed for all, so that left Jack and I to fend for ourselves. So, what did we do??? Well, we did what any respectable mother and son do when left on our own. We made pizzas, got cheese everywhere, had a carpet picnic, danced in the crazy Texas rain, got in a sock war chasing each other around the house throwing daddy's socks at each other (hey, he started it), and even got in some cuddle time. I must say, it was a time well spent! Making my pizza Sneaking some cheese...mmmm.... Watching it cook! About to jump and dance in the rain! SOOOO fun!!! Yes, it is perfectly sunny and POURING!!! Mmmmmm...ding dongs...YUMMO!!!!

So, for about a week now Jackson has been pulling up my shirt and talking to and about the baby. It's sweet really. After yesterday I was a little worried about his knowledge of the baby but thought if we didn't really say anything about the baby he would forget; out of sight out of mind. Well, I was wrong, once again. Ironic how I think I'm right so often yet I'm not. I digress. This morning Jackson was playing with the string on my pants and pulled my shirt up to talk to baby. I thought, "Oh no! What I am going to say?" However, I just let him go, didn't really say anything knowing it would come to me. He asked me where the baby was and I told him the baby was asleep in went to Heaven to be with Jesus. He kept looking at my belly and playing and then out of the blue, gave my belly a kiss and said, "all better." Funny how we as moms say this to our kids all the time and it seems to actually make the boo boo or hurt all better. Well, I am here to...

I can't dissappoint all of you regardless of what I am going through. Plus, telling funny Jackson stories brings a smile to my face and gets my mind off of what's at hand, if only for a moment. So, here it goes... We had a pretty good thunderstorm a few nights ago. It came out of nowhere fast. Jackson loved watching the rain, seeing the lightning, and listening for the thunder. He always asks us if we heard the thunder. He was all excited to hear the thunder and kept saying to Scott and I, "Did you hear that? Did you hear the thunder and lion king?" At first we didn't catch on but the more intently we listened we realized that instead of saying lightning he was saying lion king. And, no, he hasn't seen that movie. Oh how I love when he says silly things like that. I wish he never would grow out of it!

Ok,so I don't really know what to say. All I know is that writing is therapeutic for me and I think I need a little therapy right now. Where to begin? I guess with my doctor appointment. I went in for my routine 12 week check-up only to find out some grim news...the baby had no heartbeat and stopped developing at 10 weeks. No...this cannot be happening...again. There is just no way. God wouldn't allow this to happen again. Yet, it did. How am I feeling, you ask? Honestly, I don't really know. I am deeply saddened, angry,hurt, overwhelmed, fearful, determined, full of faith, lacking in faith, etc., etc. How should I be feeling? What should I do now? Do I sit and cry or do I go finish the errands I need to get done today? I am at a loss. What I do know is that less then a week ago I was experiencing such great joy. I watched my son enjoy the very things I loved as a child. I enjoyed time spent with my husband and with us as a family. I felt my toes in the sand, watched my fav...

"But what about doubts and worries? Do they, too, signal a rejection of God's kingdom?" "Not necessarily. There can be no faith without doubt, no hope without anxiety, and no trust without worry. These shadow us from dawn to dusk, indeed, they appear even in our dreams. As long as we withhod internal consent to these varied faces of fear, they are no cause for alarm, because they are not voluntary. When they threaten to comsume us, we can overpower them with a simple and deliberate act of trust: "Jesus, by your grace I grow still for a moment and I hear you say, 'Courage! It's me! Don't be afraid.' I place my trust in your presence and your love. Thank you." Brennan Manning

I had the priviledge of watching Macy for a little bit today. Jackson was in hog heaven showing off for his lady friend acting like a crazy person. They had so much fun together. I love watching them play and interact. We enjoyed playing in Jack's playroom, painting, and looking for bugs. Enjoy the pictures below of our budding artists! The last one I threw in for good measure...she's just too cute!!! Good taste, son! Good taste!

We went to our friend, Brooklyn's, 2nd birthday party on Sunday at the Museum of Nature and Sciences. The place was so cool allowing the kids to explore and get their hands on things while learning science. Jackson had a blast running through the different rooms playing with tools, water, farm life, bugs, and much more! We had a blast! The kids were so busy running around I didn't even get a picture of the birthday girl! Happy 2nd birthday Brooklyn!

Jackson had a very fun day today. We had a swim playdate at our house with some great friends! The kids loved splashing in the pool, playing with toys, and chowing down on some yummy cheese pizza and fruit! Then they all went upstairs and ran around our empty media room like wild banchees! We had a blast beating the heat today! Enjoy the pics! Swinging at some pitches before our the friends arrive. Crazy boys enjoying the water and some rays Elijah getting a tan Luke going for a swim Let me out...Tatum trying to escape! Bre and her boys Pizza Time! Tatum kept saying, "Mmmm" Faith enjoying a yummy slice of cheese pizza Luke taking a BIG bite!

Since we just came home from a ten day trip I thought I'd write about the comforts of home. We loved being away and visiting our other "home" but are happy to be in our own bed! 1. Jackson takes naps again (3 hour ones at that)!!! 2. Jackson doesn't come into our bed in the middle of the night 3. No sand in our house 4. Our own bed...ahhhh! 5. The smell of my home 6. Taking a shower in our own shower not wondering who or what has bathed in the borrowed shower 7. Peace and quiet at night 8. Jack has all his toys to play with and occupy him:) 9. I can blog without worrying about losing my internet connection 10. Swimming in our pool 11. Jack's back at school...wahoo for mommy! 12. We have a routine again 13. Seeing our friends...we missed everyone!

Every time I wonder what I am going to write for Tuesday Toddler Tales, Jackson never ceases to give me good material. So, here it goes! He and I were watching Monsters Inc.L; him cozy in Scott's place on the bed with his hands behind his back and legs crossed. I was next to him enjoying his company and cute little legs. Here is how our conversation went: Jack: Mommy be right back. Me: Oh really??? And where am I going? Jack: You go get me juicy snacks. Me: Really???? And off I went to get some juicy snacks for my little prince.

Well, the day had to come...our departure. We were ready to sleep in our own bed and have the comforts of home but sad to leave family, friends, the beach, and beautiful weather. We had an AMAZING trip! It really couldn't have been better. We had an absolute blast enjoying family, friends, the beach, Disneyland, watching our Angels play, our old church, and eating at all our favorite restaurants. We were blessed beyond words!!! He fell asleep on the way to the airport... ...stayed alseep while we waited for Scott to return the rental car... Buckled up with monkey...he was so cute telling monkey that we had to stay buckled up until we got up in the sky. Reading the safety manual...hey, somebody should know what to do since we know none of us read it!

On our last day at the beach we went to Balboa and the Fun Zone. I love this area! It reminds me so much of time as a kid! Jackson had a blast riding the ferry, playing games in the arcades, riding the ferris wheel, or "turn around around," as he called it, and eating lunch at Ruby's on the pier. It was a perfect day and we had a blast!!! I get so much joy out of watching Jackson enjoy things that I did as a kid! Daddy and Jack on the pier... ...mommy and Jack Enjoying a yummy Ruby's shake Wearing his "prize" from his winnings! Good throw! Hey, at least he made it down the correct aisle! Driving with daddy! I'm a little short...I'll just scoot up! Honk! Honk! Get outta my way! Going on the "turn around around" A.K.A. the ferris wheel Excited to ride the ferry! Daddy and Jack enjoying the ferry ride! Now it's mommy's turn! I've got my stick, I'm ready to go/ View from the ferry...beautiful!