The Fish Tank

It's that time of year again; the time when things come to an end and we get to stop making school lunches. Ah. Sweet summertime. By the middle of May, we are all pining for lazy days, swimming to take the place of showers, and no folders to sign. May is the most craziest month in all the land and by June, we can finally let our frazzled hair down and breath. By August, we are ready to ship our little hoodlums off to the Land of Oz that is their schools welcoming schedules and responsibility like welcoming in someone to clean your house. By August, we are begging teachers to come back from the throws of summer retirement longing for the days where we can entrust someone else with the responsibility of telling our little ones to stop picking on their brother. Isn't it funny how we long for change and we don't even realize it? We stay in the school zone for too long and we may all lose our minds. By May, everyone needs a break: the teachers are done, students are exhauste...

I had to get up and leave the dinner table. I was so mad. One of the boys did something forgivable BUT it was the 85th gazillion time he had made this "mistake" and I thought he should have learned by now. Yep. It happens to me. I think it's easy to read this blog, look at my Instagram feed, or peak into my life and think I've got things all figured out. I talk about Jesus a lot and how much I love my boys, husband, family, and friends. It could seem like I automatically jump to Jesus when I'm having a bad day, but that's just not the case. I was so mad at my kid the other night that I literally had to get up from the dinner table and sit in a quiet room with the doors shut. I knew if I stayed I would have snapped at him. And while this sounds like I made the right choice, what I really wanted to do was stay and be mad. Just last week I dealt with insecurities with friends. I felt forgotten, left out, and jaded. I felt like the girl who was pushed out of...

Let me begin this post by specifying that I am not a nutritionist. I have never been trained as a personal trainer. I am not trying to be either. Nor am I the fittest or skinniest one in the bunch and have cellulite on my legs. I am just a girl trying to be as healthy as possible mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Okay. Now let's get talking. Let me give you a little background so you get a feel for where I am coming from. I remember being in second grade, sitting on the side of my friend's pool, and pinching my "fat" rolls on my belly. I thought I was fat at eight years old. I grew up in Orange County, California so the need to look a certain way was ingrained in my soul at a very young age. No one had to say anything. The sights and sounds of Southern California beckoned a girl to be blond, tan, and thin. I got the first part but failed miserably at the second two; or, at least I thought I did. I have always been an active person. My parents wer...

Release your expectations. Redefine success. Let go of dissapointment. Drop the shoulds. I listened to a podcast today and the last ten minutes were mind-blowing and so freeing. The guest said a few things in regards to motherhood that speak volumes to every single one of our lives. She said we need to release our expectations, redefine our successes, let go of our disappointments, and drop the shoulds we have for our lives. I think we know this but most of us aren't living it. How absolutely freeing would it be for ourselves and those around us if we released our expectations? How unobstructed would our kids feel if we released our expectations of them? What would happen if we just let them play ball, color a picture outside of the lines, wore mismatched clothes? How would they behave if we released the unattainable expectations we place on our lives? What would our marriages look like if we released our spouse of our expectations and just allowed them to love us the bes...

I got a text from a new friend wanting to meet for coffee. I replied with an enthusiastic yes excited to get to know my new neighbor a little better. Our sons have become fast friends and I wanted to get to know her. And then the doubts started to roll in. I started questioning why she wanted to meet me. Had my son done something while at their house that she wanted to talk to me about? Was this a meeting about something more serious? I couldn't just accept that this person wanted to get to know me and possibly a friendship. I had to let my crazy thoughts get in the way. "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 I ended up meeting her for coffee. I hid my crazy as best I could and went to the coffee shop. We talked for two hours. Never once did she say or do what I imagined. Our time was toget...

Let's talk Jen Hatmaker, shall we? If you have never heard of Hatmaker, she is a Christian author and speaker. She gained notoriety through some blog posts that went viral way back when. She is a good mix of funny and spiritual relating to the masses; especially moms. I started following her on social media years ago, have read some of her books, and seen her speak a few times. I enjoyed her style of humor, Bible, and approachable spirit. Earlier this year, Hatmaker was under fire for an interview she did in which she changed her stance on marriage. She no longer held to the conviction that marriage should be between a man and a woman and came out in support of gay marriage. The Christian community lost their minds over this completely throwing Hatmaker under the bus and slamming on the gas pedal. It was bad. Really bad. Recently, she was scrutinized again for a Good Friday post she wrote on social media. The Christians once again went nuts over the fact that she compared her suf...

We Christians love us a good Scripture reference. We like to tell you about our little catch phrases too. We have this one saying that I have heard a lot more recently. We tout ourselves as Christians who "Love God and Love Others." We derive this saying from Mark 12:30-31 which says, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.” Sounds easy enough. How hard is it to love God and love others? Apparently, it's quite difficult. I believe Christians honestly have good intentions when they try to love God and love others. I really do think we love God well, or, as well as our human selves can love the God of the universe. When it comes to loving others, I think we struggle a bit. I was talking to a long-time friend a couple weeks ago. We were talking about the church and how its handled welcoming pe...

**I felt a tug in my heart yesterday telling me to find this blog entry and repost it. I have heard countless stories of precious people suffering because of the silent killer that is anxiety. I believe we need to unearth the realities of this debilitating issue and start talking. Below is my journey. I, by no means, am an expert nor am I "all better." We all have our weaknesses; those battles we face over and over wishing we could just overcome. As much as I would love to will anxiety away and out of my life, it is here for the long haul. I am okay with accepting this because I know it keeps me close to my Savior. I hope this post encourages at least one of you. Know you are not alone.** Four years ago, my eyes were opened to a major personality flaw. We had just sold our house and moved about twenty minutes away into an apartment. We were building another house and it wouldn't be ready for ten months. When we first entered this season, I was excited and thought it wo...