The Fish Tank

Jackson and I went to MyGym today; the first time since May. The child was in hog-heaven back at "his" gym. While he was jumping in the ball pit the song, "Who Let the Dogs Out" came on. Jackson heard the music and started asking, "Mommy, who let the dogs out? Who let the dogs out, mommy ?" He was emphatic and had to know who the heck let the dogs out. I had to explain to him through my cracking up that there were no dogs and it was just a song. I think he was a little disappointed that there were no dogs to let out. Crazy kid!

Have you ever wondered why when you knick yourself shaving it bleeds FOREVER and hurts worse than labor??? Just curious:) P.S. I have decided that Jack is going to stay in the baby bijorn until he is 18...or so:)

I lost Jack. Don't worry, he has been found but for the longest I'd say 8 minutes of my life he was gone. I was at the mall with two girlfriends and their kiddos. We were all having lunch at the food court when I stepped away to get some ketchup. Jack stayed behind with his friends. I was gone for maybe a minute and a half or so. When I came back he was gone. His chair was pushed in and empty. I began to panic. One friend stayed behind with all the other kids while my other friend and I darted off in oposite directions. Others began to notice our panic and jumped in the search with us. I saw nothing in my direction, not even shoppers. I turned around and started the other way. I got to the carousel where I thought he'd be and he wasn't. At this point it took everything in my power not to faint. I felt like everything around me was spinning. I was so overwhelmed with where to look. I just kept running, frantically asking people if they saw a little blond-haired boy with ...

"When the Holy Spirit speaks, His words come with such sudden, passionate authority that they will produce a holy amazement in you. The authority of His message will strike your inner man with such a blow that it will shake loose your old agenda and replace it with His new one."

Everyone has one...an embarrassing story your parents love to tell. Even though Jackson has given me a repertoire of funny stories I can tell future love interests, Monday's was the topper! Jackson told me he had to go potty so off we went. He went a little and said he was all done. A few minutes later he got daddy to take him to the potty but what he really wanted to do was unravel all the toilette paper. So, he let you go. He played in the closet while daddy ironed and mommy got ready in the bathroom. a few moments later out you appeared from under some clothes proclaiming you went poop. And there it was in all its glory sittig atop my tub of clothes. Yep! That's right! He pooped not in the potty but nicely on top of one of my tubs. Nice son! Can't wait to tell the ladies this story!

"Worry ends where faith begins." This was one of the first things I saw when I walked into the doctor's office Friday.

"The Holy Spirit is God's control tower. He sees the end from the beginning and seeks to guide us through this life." Priscilla Shirer

For the past three days my morning verse has been so in-tune with my life. God has given me so much hope and comfort through His Word. I thought I'd share today's verse so that you too may be as encouraged as I have lately. "We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield." Psalm 33:20

On my "difficult" day Scott, Jackson, and I were able to meet the Bullards and Shubins (Michelle and Andrew are from Cali) at the Rough Riders game. It was a perfect night with a wonderful breeze! We had a blast chatting, hanging out, and watching the boys be rambunctious and so super funny! What an awesome night with some pretty special people! Jack and Gavin watching some baseball! The Shubins and the boys! This is definitely being framed!!! Yeah! Together again! The ladies...me (looking exhausted and haggered), Mich, and Bre Go Rough Riders!!! Jackson was not too sure about the cotton candy. I don't think he knew what to do with it:) Gavin, on the other hand, chowed down!!! Mmmm... Andrew and the boys singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" trying to get on the jumbotron. Hey, look! There they are!!! Jack and Gav were up there twice! So fun!!!

I know you all have probably been anxiously awaiting this blog sitting on the edge of your seats:) So I will get right to it...the doctor basically told us that we have a 99 percent chance of having another healthy baby. I know! I couldn't believe it either! She told us to still do the chromosome testing on Scott and I just for peace of mind but doesn't think they will find anything. She believed that this occurred because of a spontaneous mutation. She was more than encouraging for us to try again...eventually. I cried as we left and poor Scott just looked at me like "now what???" I was crying tears of joy, relief, and shock; pure humility that the Lord desired to bless us so richly with such wonderful results. I was not expecting that outcome not doubting the Lord but just thinking He may have something else planned for us (and He still may). Scott and I stopped in the parking lot, prayed, and praised the Lord. I saw a woman watching us as we embraced and prayed and...

"Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed. I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will uphold you with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Well, tomorrow is gaining on me quickly even though it feels light years away. Our appointment for genetic counseling is tomorrow at 10am Texas time. Everything in my being is telling me, "Don't go don't go" but then there's that tiny logical sense that kicks in and says, "you have to go." I've actually had more peace today than I have all week. I guess I just realize that I cannot control the outcome anymore and have given up. I'm tired; exhausted. I realize that, although I make choices, whatever will be will be. If God ordains it, then it is good. So, whatever happens tomorrow will be good. I have a feeling this appointment is going to be a really positive experience. I don't know what will come of it or what we will be told but I just have a peace about it. However, if you see me at 9:59am tomorrow morning you might catch a girl with sweaty palms, a racing heart that feels like it is going to explode, and a stomach that is doing back flip...

I am in the process of wiping the dust off and getting up from my fall this morning. When I woke up early I didn't think the tears would stop flowing. I was aching for some relief; begging God for just a little peace; a tiny sense of hope. For the moment, the tears have stopped. I am doing "better" at the present time. I didn't stay in my pj's all day moping. Thankfully a great friend gave me a call this morning and didn't allow that to happen! I am BEYOND appreciative for that phone call and invitation! You will never know how much I needed to get out of the house. Jack and I went to a play date with some amazingly beautiful mommies and their precious children. Jackson laughed a ton and had a blast which blessed my heart. I know with all of my being that I am GREATLY blessed. I am blessed to just wake up in the morning and be given another day and the breath of life which we all take for granted. Within that day I get to play with my precious son, enjoy my be...

Hello Everyone! I have a request for all of you. Please pray and pray hard for me. I am REALLY struggling today. I feel like I have been given more than I can handle (even though I know that is not the case)and am dieing inside. Please, please, please pray for me! THANK YOU!!!

I don't know what to write. I am tired, sad, overwhelmed. However, I sit here with a pirate hat on because my beautiful son wants me to play pirates with him. He is yelling "argh" to me luring me to play. He will not allow me to stay sad for very long. For that, I am humbly grateful. My Precious Jackson, The Lord gave a perfect and precious gift to your daddy and I. You arrived in this world at 6:13pm on May 30, 2006 in Fullerton, California at the hospital your mommy was born; a day I will cherish forever. Your eyes were captivating from the moment you opened them. Your smile contagious. You bring so much joy to so many lives, including mine everyday. I love watching you. You astound me! Your cute little cheeks poof out and your lips plump up when you are in deep concentration. You scream, "I love you, daddy," as he walks out the door for work knowing that your play-partner will be home soon to make you laugh. You adore and admire your daddy. This brings pure j...

I was reading another mom's blog who lost a beautiful baby girl to Trisomy 18. She has some AMAZINGLY inspiring quotes I'd like to share with you. "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." – T.S. Eliot "If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again." – Flavia Weedn "If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine." – Morris West

This was the quote I was going to leave you all with today: "Don't flounder when time passes as you wait to see God's promises fulfilled. Stand firm and walk daily in obedience to God'" Priscilla Shirer As I write these words I wonder if I can keep myself from floundering. Have you ever had one of those seasons when it seems that all you get is bad news. Its seems as though I have been inundated with bad news since 2008 began. I have endured two miscarriages, a death, major family issues, and friends that have faced trials beyond the size of enormous mountains! I prayed a few months ago for a season of joy and I am working vigorously to have it even in my current circumstances. I received my test results from the embryonic testing and found that the baby had Down's Syndrome. I am sad for two reasons. One, I would have loved to cherish and love on my baby regardless of what he or she had. I wish I had the opportunity to hold that precious child and teach him or...

I wanted to pass on some wisdom I read in my book, "When I Lay My Isaac Down," today. This touched my heart and has forever changed me. One of the challenges in this chapter was a question that asked, "Is faith more powerful when the lamb appears-or can faith be even greater when the desired outcome doesn't happen." (Carol Kent). What a tough question! Am I more faithful to God because I have hope that He will provide what I desire? Will I remain faithful and strong if my outcome never comes and He has an entirely different plan for my life? I am challenged...and renewed. I am more determined than ever to stand firm in my faith regardless of what God's story for my life entails. I will not be thwarted in my faith. I love Him and He is good no matter if there is a ram in the thicket or it is empty. Here are some encouraging and challenging words Carol Kent shares in her book from Oswald Chambers and Jim Cymbala... "Living a life of faith means never know...

What is that you may be asking??? Oh, it's a power sprayer...a power paint sprayer, that is. After painting for five days straight and still having a fourth coat of blue to go, I melted. I couldn't paint anymore. Stick a fork in me, I was done!!! My loving and wonderful husband told me he'd do the fourth and final coat and I told him I'd help him. So, off I went to Home Depot that night to get us two more gallons of paint and another extender pole. This morning he finally admitted to me the truth of his evil plans...he was going to buy a power sprayer to finish the job. What??? You're kidding, right? After all the grueling labor I went through this week hand painting that ginormous room, not too mention potty training our two year old and taking care of everyday life stuff, you decide to get a power sprayer now??? When it's your turn to paint??? Well, he did and I watched as he swiftly painted the rest of the media room with that fabulous invention. Now that he ...

Jackson loves being naked. Many times after a bath he will run around the house like a crazy person shouting, "I'm naked boy!" He's such a nut. Well, this morning Scott and I were laying in bed chit-chatting and all of a sudden I hear the pitter-patter of little feet. Hmmmm...Jackson is pretty much locked in his room so it couldn't possibly be him. Well, it was. Apparently Scott had left the bathroom door open last night so Jack had an escape route. When he finally arrived in our room he was completely naked! He was very excited to be "naked boy" for the moment. When I went upstairs to find his clothes they were strewn about his playroom. I wonder how long he was playing in his "naked boy" costume???

Jack and I have been pretty much house-bound this week because of potty training. I thought he'd go stir-crazy since we are typically on the go but he has found ways to entertain himself. Of course I have to be part of the action too. Yeah for me!!! Below are some pictures of our funny week thus far. Jackson being a pirate. We watched an episode of Backyardigans and they went to pirate camp. Now Jackson is a pirate and even comes up to us yelling "argh." Mommy has to be a pirate too, of course! Jackson is very proud of his potty chart and being a big boy! Jackson has been very successful at potty training. We really haven't had many accidents (mostly poop). He even told Scott he had to go potty while he was in the bath. I think the kid's getting the hang of it. However, mommy is a little sad. My baby is one step closer to growing up.

I am on my fifth day of painting and third coat of blue and I am exhausted. Between painting, potty training, and doing everyday life stuff I am wiped. Here are 13 areas where I am SO sore from painting! 1. My neck from painting the ceiling 2. My throat from straining my neck to paint the ceiling 3. Shoulders 4. Biceps 5. Forearms 6. Shoulder Blades 7. Wrists 8. Hands 9. My point finger on my left hand (blister) 10. Thumb on my left hand (blister and a cut) 11. My abs 12. Quads 13. My head because I was crazy to think that this would be an easy task! Hey, at least if I want a good workout I know what to do!

Holy textured walls batman! I decided that it would be fun to paint my GINOROMOUS media room during the hottest part of the summer. Our media room is one large empty room and I'm ready to do something with it. I love to paint and thought what the heck. I've got some stress to let out. Give me a paint brush, some paint, and empty walls and my therapy session can begin! What I didn't realize was that the builders in Texas L-O-V-E them some texture. It's like they took the texture spray gun and went crrrrrazy. I knew the walls were more textured than what I am used to in California from painting Jack's room but this is out of control! I have to primer the walls and ceiling first in order to get any paint to stick on the walls and oh my goodness gracious!!!! Might I add that I am covered in gray primer because it splatters as it "glides" over the highly textured Texas walls! I am on my third day of "primering" and only have one strip left on the ceil...

Jackson officially started potty training yesterday. He's been going in the potty on and off since 18 months but we were waiting for him to know the sensation before we really got serious. Can I just say that potty training, although Jackson is doing great, is exhausting! Anyway, I've been asking or taking him to the potty about every thirty minutes. It was about that time yesterday when I decided to give him a piggy back ride downstairs. Well, you can guess what happened next. That's right. The kid peed on me! I felt that wet sensation as we were descending and couldn't get down the stairs fast enough. I think I will be refraining from piggy back rides until he is officially trained!

How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me. Psalm 13

Jackson had quite a fun-filled day on Saturday! The day began with Jobe's third birthday at Frisco Horse Ranch. Jackson was in hog-heaven (no pun intended) at the shin-dig. He rode a pony twice, pet goats and chickens, jumped in a bounce house, and had birthday cake! Can't get any better than that! Oh, but it did! After the party we went to Lake Ray Roberts with the Bullards. The lake was beautiful! We parked in a gorgeous cove with wooded areas and hills (I know...hills in Texas it is true). The boys had an absolute blast playing in the sand, swimming around the cove, and going for a drive on the boat. It was a perfect way to beat the H-O-T summer heat here in Texas. Scott and I always say how blessed Jackson is to experience so much so young but we wouldn't have it any other way! Enjoy the pictures of his exciting day! Jobe (the birthday boy), Ramie, Gavin, and Jackson enjoying some birthday cake! Yee-haw!!! My little cowboy Jackson posing with a chicken. LOL! Aw!!! I...

The moment our lives changed forever! Gazing up at mommy. Laughing at daddy. Precious! Taking a break on the stairs. Life is tough. Pretending to be a caterpillar. His under there somewhere!