The Fish Tank

I am not a baker. I mean, I bake but that's not my thing in the kitchen. I think it's that everything has to be exact. I am more of a "a little bit here, a little bit there" kind of a cook. I do know, however, that sugar makes everything a little bit sweeter. I have friends that are like sugar. They make my life sweeter. They bring a richness that enrich my life and make it better. I like those sweet friends. They're easy and usually make me feel good about myself. The sweet friends bring about a unique positivity. Unlike baking, I LOVE a good DIY project. I peruse Pinterest drinking my coffee pinning all the projects. I usually tackle too much and have to elicit the help of my husband in some way. I love watching a grainy piece of wood transform into a piece of furniture or a shelving unit sanding down each piece exposing the grain line by line. By the end of the project, I am usually covered in stain and sawdust. Sandpaper is my friend transforming a rough p...

'While he was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him, but Jesus asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”' Luke 22:47-48 Judas. Ah, probably the most well-known traitor's of all time. Sealed with a kiss, Judas locked in his fate and the fate of his friend. Both lives forever changed. History written in blood. We all need a Judas. I was listening to a podcast during the workout and the pastor said something that made me stop mid-row. He talked about how Jesus needed a Judas just as much as he needed a John. Without Judas, we wouldn't have the cross. Without a man betraying a friend, we wouldn't have the sacrifice. Jesus needed Judas. And so did we. We all have had a Judas in our life. We have all experienced that person who has betrayed us in some form or fashion. We've been hurt by someone we thought cared. We've been deceived by so...

Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. The king’s command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace. Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?” They replied, “Certainly, Your Majesty.” He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.” Nebuchadnezzar then approached the op...

I am a do-er. I LOVE a good to-do list. Crossing off items off my list is like magic. I typically cannot sit down until everything is in order. I have a difficult time resting and sometimes struggle with being in the moment when something goes undone. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. 'Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.' Exodus 18:17-18 I pile on too much too often. I want to do, do, do so that everything can get done and be in its place when I finally crawl into bed at night. Oftentimes, I get so caught up in the doing that I miss the living. Many times, the dialog I tell myself is that I must do in order to earn my keep. Somehow, in my crazy way of thinking, my doing determines my value. Crazy, I know. Moses, in Exodus, is showing his father-in-law all the things he has done. Essentially, Moses has d...

When I was in middle school, a group of friends and I were stalked by an adult male. He would sit in his car and watch us from afar. I remember the first time we noticed him. There was a group of about five or six of us walking from one of our homes to another. There was a greenbelt in between the street we were on and the next street over. The street across the greenbelt was on a little hill so you could easily see the street. There he was. Sitting in his car. Staring. We ran faster than I think we all believed we could, called our parents, and called the police. He continued to stalk us at various times until the police showed up at our school. I remember being pulled out of class not knowing why and going into the principal's office where a man sat. It was a detective holding a file. He let me know they believe they caught the guy but I had to pick him out from some photographs. I knew exactly who he was. So did the rest of the girls. Thankfully, our story ended well and he was ...

Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like you're on the outside looking in? You are physically there, but you feel like you are the odd man out or your personality is too much for that group and you can see it like you are sitting on the outside of the circle looking in? I am not everyone's cup of tea. This revelation is a hard pill to swallow. While I am not a conflict-avoider, I don't like it and desire everyone to get along and like each other all the time. I often wish everyone would just play nice. But, I know relationships are hard and messy and not everyone is meant to be besties. I am a lot to take in. I can be loud, overbearing, talkative, opinionated, I like things a certain way, I am stubborn, and on and on and on. I can overwhelm a person in a heart-beat. I also know, however, that I am kind, compassionate, loyal, empathetic, service-minded, and respectful. I have come to terms with and learned to accept that I am not everyone's cup of te...

Time goes by fast. Ah. The truest quote out there. When you are a kid, you think time goes on forever. The clock ticks slower when you are at school. Christmas day feels like its light years away. Time is not your highest commodity when you are a child. As we get older, time seems to stand still for different reasons. The high school senior feels like he will never be free of high school. The young single sees marriage as a far off dream. Parents of babies cannot see past the sleepless nights, let alone, being able to do anything independently of a little person shadow. Time. Our most valuable possession. When I started having babies, the older wiser folk all told me to enjoy those moments because they go by in a flash. In the back of my mind, I knew they were right. The reality in front of me, however, spoke a different story. After almost three years, a second baby came. One year later, the third. There I sat hair a mess, lack of sleep and shower, caring for three boys unde...

It's that time: the time for the "talk" with our eldest. We actually had the talk a while ago, but it was time to watch the coveted video at school. The teachers sent a link, so my husband, son, and I watched it together. Our intent was to diffuse the giggles and awkwardness that come with watching something like that with your peers. Nothing like watching a video about body changes with your parents. We also try to be intentional about having those tough, not-so-fun, embarrassing conversations before they happen outside the home. I have three boys. I know nothing about boys coming from a family of all girls. I mean, I have one male cousin. That's it. Boys are foreign to me. I remember when my oldest was a toddler. I was so very anti-gun. I didn't want him to hear the word, see guns in his shows, much less, have a toy gun. I am originally from California so cut me some slack. Now that most of my family are Texans, guns aren't so scary anymore. Even with all ...

When I first came to church, Jesus was always presented in a relational context. Never did he seem like this far off being that was too big and too great to have anything to do with little ole me. I learned from the very beginning that Jesus desired a relationship with me. I realize not everyone was or is taught this relational version of Jesus. Because of this, I think it is easy to slip into an attendance-based spiritual journey rather than a relational one. I attend a large church. It is easy to go unnoticed. If I wasn't involved and missed a Sunday, no one would be the wiser. It's easy to hide in a big church. I also live in the south, the coveted "Bible belt" where going to church on Sunday is per the usual. I remember when we first moved to Texas from California. We had been here maybe a couple of days so we had yet to venture out and find a church. I went to the grocery store on a Sunday morning and the parking lot was empty. I walked up to the doors and almo...

I love gardening. I enjoy getting my hands dirty digging in the dirt. I like looking out my window and seeing the colors in the landscape. I have a problem, though. I do not have a green thumb. I never know how much to water. I struggle with how much sun vs. shade each plant needs. I have a difficult time helping my plants grow. Gardening reminds me of our hope. We place a seed deep in the soil hoping to see a sprout in the coming weeks. We nurture that little seed feeding it with water and sunshine. When the first bud pops through the soil, we feel a sense of achievement. Hope is a lot like this. We hope in something to come and when it finally pops through the soil and comes to fruition, we rejoice. However, many of us have had our hopes shattered. We hope and wish and pray only to be disappointed. Time and again we get our hopes up only to have them shattered into a million pieces scattered across the floor. Because of this, we pack our hope neatly in a box and seal it tight. Of...

I didn't grow up in a Christian home. I first went to church my freshman year of high school. A friend invited me to youth group and that triggered my faith journey. I remember looking at the pastor and his wife desiring to have parents like them. I had this vision of how a godly home ran and operated. When I got married, I had a vision of a Christ-centered marriage. My husband would lead us daily in prayer. We would work through marriage devotionals together. When we had kids, we would all sit around the dinner table reading the Bible and praying. All kids fully in-tune and attentive. Seriously. This is how I envisioned my home to function. Then, life happened. We all have visions. We dream of what and how life should play out. When what we had envisioned doesn't come to light, we are disappointed or think we have done something wrong. But, when we sit back and evaluate the situation, we see that life is good even though it doesn't mirror the way we thought. The sa...

We like to throw the word, "rights," around. We talk about how we deserve certain rights, are entitled to others, and shout, scream, and protest when our rights are infringed upon. We get fired-up and hyper-emotional when it comes to our rights. But, let me ask you this: Are we entitled to rights? Let me add a disclaimer here. I do believe in human rights. I believe that each human on this planet be treated with respect; right and fair. This isn't a post to debate whether this group or that deserve rights or not. Think of this more as a perspective shift. 'Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.' Matthew 16:24 Jesus died on the cross for you and me. He gave his life so we could have the right to Heaven. Think on that for a minute. He died so we may have the right to enter Heaven's gates. Beyond this, I am not sure we deserve any rights. Yet, He is gracious...

Spring has decided to arrive early in North Texas. We have had an incredibly mild winter with only a few days below freezing. The trees and grass are confused and have decided to bloom. I love when the trees bloom in my town. They initially pop out the most beautiful shade of purple before turning green. They are stunning. I was walking my usual route by the lake and noticed the blooms. Deep in the tree line a bolt of lilac popped out at me. The flowers were hard to see because they were tucked away behind the brush; one that had inch-long thorns on the branch. The thorns looked menacing. But, just beyond those daggers lay the most gorgeous lilac bloom. I wish I could touch it, but it was fiercely protected. Do you know someone like this? Does this sound like a description of you? So often we can be that beautiful bloom no one can get to because we have locked ourselves down. No public access. People can see our beauty but they don't get to experience it fully because we guard ...